Spirit, move me

By Sarah Fancy

​It's been a long time since I have blogged. Life got in the way. But now I have something to say again, so here I am.

So many people talk about their journeys: the weight loss journey, the healing journey, the house buying journey. And yeah, life is one big journey, despite the triteness of the idea. I guess I am on a new journey at the moment. It's the journey back to my self -- the journey of my soul. Sounds ominous, doesn't it? And a bit woo woo? It may be all of those things, and would have sounded the same to me even a few months ago, but here we go.

​I think much of this story began when Kim and I got together, but I didn't know it at the time. When I started using essential oils, the ones with the names like Humility, Gratitude, etc were a mystery to be, and I simply didn't think they would achieve the purpose of their own name. But this story isn't about oils, although it does begin with them, and they are woven into its tapestry.
I do know that we were using Release oil when it all began. Many of the oily people are Christian, and some others are "spiritual" -- I felt like I was neither. I grew up in a charismatic Christian church until I was 9. It was our whole life for many, many years. Sometimes it moved me. What I did enjoy was the Sunday School analysis of the Bible and the discussions around passages. I loved the music. My parents had a community. But by the time I left high school, I couldn't justify the inherent anti-feminism of much of the churches that I knew, along with the anti-gay rhetoric. I left and I really didn't go back. I missed the music and the community, but I learned to live without it. I think I really felt betrayed by the churches I encountered in the US and their blatant involvement in politics and judgement.

So fast forward 30 years, give or take. I have been searching a while for something else. I tried the church a few more times, but German churches just don't sing with any joy and I couldn't get into it. The whole one god, one way to heaven bothered me. And I was really afraid of dying. I feel like I've been living with this fear of dying for many years now. But if you no longer believe in a single Christian God, what's left after you die? I didn't know. But that fear accompanied me wherever I went, lurking somewhere in the back of my mind.

My sister Ann, on the other hand, has been open to all of this stuff from day one. She teaches yoga. She's always been spiritual. She has found her way. She talked to me about it all a bit, but I just wasn't ready. I tried to read Eckhard Tolle along with everyone else who watched Oprah back in 2005, but it didn't do anything for me. But then I heard Carol Yeh Garner talking about physics and thoughts and intention at Young Living convention in 2015. A little crack opened up in my skepticism. Maybe there was something to all this stuff?

I read The Universe Has Your Back at some point around 2016. It kinda made sense. But I didn't really know what to do with it. I  made a Vision board for that year and everything happened. Ok. Could be. But ego is strong.  

Then in fall of 2018, Ann started talking about Mark Gober's book called The End to Upside Down Thinking. I listened to a podcast that he was on (after making sure Ann thought I could handle it. Was it too weird?) Then I bought the book. And then, the crack widened.
All that year, and actually, for a long time, I had been feeling a real lack of joy in my life. I have a great family, a great partner, great kids. But I couldn't find my place in the world. I felt like I wasn't doing things I loved. I didn't even know what I loved. I had no idea how to find it. Ann suggested I do something called soul retrieval  or soul healing. That sounded very scary and very sketchy. But I trust my sister. So I overcame it and decided to do it. That's when I remembered my friend Marianne. She'd come to me looking for oils the year before after a cursory initial meeting years before because her spirit guides told her to. Huh? That seemed really strange to me, but hey, I have an open mind. She got some oils, I felt a connection with her, and she disappeared. We messaged on Facebook a few times, then I ran into on the road once. But I remembered she did something with energy. 

I looked her up and found that what she did was called Reconnective Healing. That sounded like it could be what I needed. So I booked a session. That is where my transformation began. And let me tell you, it's been a big one. I'll write more on it next week.

​Marianne can be found on www.pacificspirit.de
For more on Ann Fancy and her work, go to www.annfancy.com

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